Drifting
Wow, that sounds like an odd name for a post. Can you tell i’m delirious? Funny story, so, my whole life i’ve never been a huge drug person. But see the thing is when we were kids, if we so much as coughed my mom was there in a heartbeat shoving some kind of medicine down our throats and sending us off to the doctor. In my more recent years I have tried to reject that impulse to go see the doctor when I feel I am getting sick. I actually started this when I was probably in late elementary school. I had a system. Infact, I have more than a system, I had a “sick box.” In my “sick box” were the necessary articles I would need to feel better. Bandaids, cough drops, and probably some dimatapp. Most importantly I had a green bear i’d won down the shore that was my designated “sick bear” and when I was home with a fever, i’d take out my “sick box,” use the appropriate remedies, and cuddle with my “sick bear” while watching TV. What a system.
Now I don’t have a physical “sick box” since anything i’d need is in my bathroom… but I do have some habitual rituals which I have convinced myself work in curing myself as fast as possible. Granted who knows if in real time they actually work, but I believe in the power of belief. That is to say, if I believe these “rituals” will cure me, they will. (and for the fucking record, i’m not talking about ACTUAL rituals, get your mind out of the cauldron).
Well it took most of the day of practicing this routine and lying on the couch for me to finally FINALLY relax a little bit. Maybe i’m lying and it didn’t happen until 11:30PM when I finished packing up my office supplies (I say this ambitiously knowing I have some more things to add to that box). But I am now at a point where I can deal with the reality that I have to rest my body AND my mind. You know it’s a problem when you’re trying to tell your family that you weren’t around any sick people and your mother’s response is that you’ve been running around too much without any sleep. Fucking reality check. Thanks, mom.
But I finally think i’ve got a handle on this whole “relaxing” thing. Which is what I said in January and then I quickly fell into my stressful routine. NONETHELESS! I am committed to spending tomorrow,truly my last day alone to rest the fuck up. And i’m actually … excited.. to “waste away” the day.
….Or maybe it’s just the NightQuil and Midol I took slowing rendering me unconscious right now…
